Vendor Spotlight | Laura, Married by Laura
Welcome to our Vendor Spotlight series - exactly what the title suggests! We’ll be bringing you Q+A’s with the most amazing and beautiful vendors that operate right here in Perth and Western Australia.
Today, we’ve got the most amazing chat with one of the best celebrants Perth has to offer, Laura from Married by Laura.
She had so much wisdom and goodness to share, so I’ve changed up the format slightly from previous blog posts. Laura has been a celebrant for the past three and a half years. We chatted all things wedding planning, her offerings, tips on writing your own vows and snippets of her own wedding in Bali.
Keep scrolling and reading for all the insights below!
On offering one package :
I used to offer a whole heap of different packages. But I feel like the more you offer.. people don't know what they don't know. I’ve just got one package, which is everything - you get married, we're going all in, the whole thing's freaking awesome. The whole thing is personalised from start to finish. You get my entire brain, you get all my goodies and tip sheets and guides and inspiration and planning.
Every single couple who books me gets the same equal amount of love, care, attention, meeting support, DMs - regardless of the amount of guests. And they get the same fantastic personalised ceremony whether there is five people or 300 people.. Couples book me because they want something meaningful and they booked me because they care about their day. If they didn't want a personalised ceremony or something fun or something different, they can go to the registry office. I feel like the one package keeps it nice and clean and limits the decisions a couple has to make - there are so many other decisions to make in wedding planning, so rather than decision paralysis, this is my only package and it’s the best one.
On her favourite part of a wedding day - for herself :
I love going to see both of them, while they're still getting ready. In their natural habitat. So the blokes will be getting ready, wherever they are and it’s chaos. There's boxers on the floor, there's empty beer bottles, it’s just a mess. There's ironing boards out because they’ve attempted to iron their shirts but they haven’t done a very good job. It’s carnage, but they’re having a really good time. And I just like seeing what they're doing and how they've enjoyed their morning, checking in and seeing how they are. And then going to see the girls get ready. It's such a contrast, because they've been up since 5am, getting hair and makeup done. The guys probably rolled out of bed an hour ago, and got on the beers straight away. The dynamic is great to see.
Image : The Day Weddings
On her favourite part of a wedding day - for couples :
The bit I love for them is when they see each other for the first time. If they haven't done a first look. When one of them is walking in - one of them's waiting, and one of them is walking in. I'm usually stood off to the side, completely out of the way, soaking it in. And it's so good. Because, I'll see her face looking at him, but then also looking at everyone else. And then you can see the look in the groom or the other partner’s eyes - it’s the weirdest moment ever. Because some people - they've been together two years, five years, 10 years, 20 years before they even get married. So this is the person you see day in, day out. The good, the bad, the ugly, in their dressing gown, no makeup on versus dressed up in a suit. I don't know why it's so poignant. That's the person who sets me off normally. Most of the time it is a groom. And most of the time there's an expectation in society, that the groom is not going to cry because he's a man, and then he loses it. I think it brings it all home. Not that marriage means it's the start of their relationship or a new chapter. It's more reaffirming - this is my person. I feel like it's that moment where they lock eyes. And I think they both just go, "It's all worth it. This is everything. We've done all of this stuff together, we’ve achieved so much. I freaking love you. And I can't wait for all the other stuff that we're about to do together.” Whether that's travelling or kids or life goals. They’re like, “This is it.” I love that moment.
On stopping and really looking and appreciating your person :
I don't think we do it enough. Because we're so busy. We’ve either got busy jobs, kids, families, whatever. And I know I'm guilty of it with my partner - you both just get caught up in the hustle and bustle. When do you ever stop and really look at that person and be like, I just love everything about you?
I'm so grateful for my husband and I love him. But I probably don't tell him enough. And I probably don't let my brain think it often, even though I know it’s in there subconsciously.
On writing your own vows :
I'm a sucker for writing your own personal vows. All of my couples get coerced - they have to write their own. They don't get away with not writing them. And they’re grateful that I forced them to do it because it's theirs. And it’s everyone else’s favourite part of the ceremony. I think everyone's daunted by writing their own vows, “I don’t know what to say..”
I just say, speak like you normally do. Don't suddenly write some profound poem if you don't speak to each other like that. If you take the piss out of each other, or you’re jokey with each other, then write something a bit more jokey. Just because it's your wedding doesn't have to be cheesy and cringey and sloppy and serious. Make it real. But that moment is so lovely too. Because not only do they get to share what they have to say, with their partner, but then they hear what that person is saying back to them. In those moments, you can see in their eyes, they're overcome with emotion, saying all their things. But then they have to stop and also hear those amazing things said to them in return. And everyone is silent, everyone's got goose bumps, everyone's on the edge of their seat.
I love that. And I'm sobbing into my iPad, wiping my tears with my microphone. You can tell when they're real. You can tell when they're not downloaded from Google. Because they're clunky, they can't get the words out. Things have been written a bit skew whiff. They're a good mix of banter and a mix of love. And I love that - keep it real. We're not here to be Shakespeare.
Image : Taylor and Co. Photography
On why she became a celebrant :
When we got back to Perth after our wedding in Bali, I looked into becoming a celebrant and thought, “I really want to do this”, but I'm not naturally an extrovert. And I've always thought that to do something like that, to stand with a microphone, you’d have to be quite loud and outspoken. I'm probably a bit of an introverted extrovert or an extroverted introvert. And it scared me. But then a friend of mine got engaged. And I asked if I could marry them. And she said, “Oh, yeah, I would love that.”
So originally I did the course to marry them. And then during that wedding, while I was delivering their ceremony, I was like, “I love this.” Everyone was so engaged. Not one person had their phone out. Everyone was laughing. Everyone was crying. Everyone was involved and they were loving it. And I thought, “I want to do this, this is my thing.” It’s giving me the feels and that’s when I knew I hadn’t just done the course for this one thing, it was gonna become a business for me. And I'm gonna do it. And then I just did.
On wedding ceremonies :
When you look around and see and make it interactive and engaging and personal, people want to listen. And sometimes people think : ceremony = boring, let’s skip to the party. I always try and let people know this isn't gonna be like your normal ceremony.
And you see them go, “Oh really?” But then as soon as it starts, you see a switch in them. Where they start leaning in, you can see them listening and it's good. And they're actually part of that moment. And sometimes I'm telling stories that their nearest and dearest - best friends and family didn't even know. So they get to go on that journey too.
Image : Zach Taylor Photography
On when to book her in :
I'm not one of these vendors who ask couples to book in with me as far in advance as possible. Because at the moment and the times we're living in, I get that people don't want to commit. Back in the day people would want me two years in advance, 18 months in advance. It's really hard for people to commit at the moment. But in saying that, if you leave it too long, not only will I be booked, but other vendors will be too, for all of the same reasons. Because of the crazy times and how things have been postponed. Suddenly, we’ve probably got half the time we had before. Because all the dates I would have had free are now filled with people from 2021 or 2020 or 2019, who have all postponed.
I probably don't open my books until closer to the dates anyway. I wouldn’t personally like for someone to book me for 2024 now as I don’t know what I’m doing with my life then, and I'm pretty certain they're not sure and anything could happen or change. So 12-18 months is a good lead time, 1) to check I’m available and 2) I feel like that’s our becoming best friends phase.
So book in with enough for us to get to know each other. 3-6 months is not enough for me. I can still deliver an awesome ceremony in that time, but I much prefer being able to go deeper with it. Because then I feel like I'm being more genuine in my delivery. So when I say stuff about couples and their personality, their vibe together and how they are as people - when I say those things I believe it. Because I know it to be true. I want to keep it authentic and real. That timeframe is good.
On why to book vendors earlier to give couples more time :
I don't want to overwhelm couples with all the stuff they have to do - here's the legal paperwork, now let's plan what’s going in the ceremony, now let's do a rehearsal, now let's do this. No, I like to stagger it out. We'll start with an initial meeting and get to know each other, then we'll do the legal paperwork, then they get all my guides and tip sheets and goodies. You kind of need to let that digest for a bit and work it out.
If it's just a six month timeframe, it's me firing stuff at you - read this, do that, fill in this questionnaire, let's meet up. And if couples are doing that - with a photographer, their florist, their wedding planner and me - you can see how couples' minds very quickly go, “Arghhhhhhhhh.” They get bamboozled. It’s a lot.
So give yourself enough time to book your vendors, but then connect with them, and then do all the things that they need from you. Because I'm pretty sure photographers are like, “Send us your vendor list, send us your timelines.” You need to give a lot to all these different people. Don't stress yourself out and lock things in too late. You also want to be able to book the people you want.
Image : Piotrek Ziolkowski
On becoming best friends with her couples :
All my couples that have booked me for longer than a year - we’ll follow each other on Instagram. They'll tag me if they have an idea for their ceremony and ask what I think about things. Or send me funny memes, or I'll DM and we connect on that level. And I watch how their life unfolds. It’s 12 months of building up a really good connection, rather than me delivering a script based on the questionnaire I've given them. It’s that coupled with the other nitty gritty stuff I know about them that I've got to know throughout that time. I want it to be a relationship. My brand is all about connection, and being your best mate - in the lead up, and on the day. And I think that shows, because normally at the end of the ceremony, people will come up to me and ask when I met the couple and how do I know them. And I'm like, “No, I'm just a celebrant, I'm not a friend.“
On her original Instagram followers :
Some of the couples who want me have said they’ve been following me since I first became a celebrant - so nearly four years, when my account was created. It makes me wonder, what value have they been getting out on my Instagram for three and a half years? Have they just found it interesting watching me talk into my stories and be a goofball?
Then they message me to say, “We're finally engaged!”
It’s so lovely to get those messages. And then, “This is our date. Please tell me you're free.”
They literally book me the week after they get engaged. I love that. I'm just hoping that when I open my diary, I'm free. Please be free. Please be free. Please be free.
And then there’s times when I'm not free on that day and my couple have actually actually moved their day. Two couples have done that recently for me.
Image : Tyler Brown Photography
On only officiating one wedding a day :
Sometimes I'll do more than one a week. Right now, there are too many people getting married. I’ll do a few a week, but no more than one a day. In the past, I've done more than one in a day, but it's really stressful. When I'm in ceremony creation mode, or in the lead up to a particular couple's wedding, they are my sole focus. So if a couple is getting married on Saturday, or if I’ve got a wedding coming up, all that week it’s in the back of my mind - with the paperwork I'm prepping, the thoughts I'm thinking, the vibe I'm creating - it’s all about that couple. I don't want to feel rushed or stressed. And I don't want them to feel rushed and pressured and that I’m not solely focused on them.
On her travel fee :
Anywhere in the Perth metro area is included. If it’s out in Dwellingup or Nanga Bush Camp or something like that, I would charge a travel fee. But it's just the amount of kilometres over what's included in my package. The package includes 50kms each way. And if it’s more than that, couples will just pay the difference. And the same for going down south. More than anything, it’s just to cover the time. Because if you're driving to Margaret River - it’s over three hours there and three hours back. Chances are I can't drive there, do a ceremony, give it my all and then drive back in the same day. It’s too dangerous. So normally it’s to cover the fact that I'll probably have to go down the day before and stay a night, or stay the night after. So the fee that I charge is like a travel fee, but also includes maybe accommodation if I need it. I’ll try and get another down south wedding on that same weekend though, so then I can split the costs across more than one couple.
Image : Zach Taylor Photography
And her number one piece of wedding planning advice :
So there's two. The first one is when planning this ceremony, it would 110% be - write your own vows. I don't care whether you feel like you're capable of doing it or not. Or whether you feel like you're good at writing, or you haven't got any ideas. Or if you can’t spell. Just get something on paper and do it. Because you're more likely to regret not doing it than doing it. And most people's fear is public speaking. It's not really public speaking because you're too busy looking at each other in that love bubble moment, you're not really taking in everyone else. Everyone is hanging off your every word, no one's judging you. No one's taking the piss or whatever. Everyone is too busy crying and snotting into their tissues to really take the mickey. So, write your own vows, that‘s for the ceremony.
And then actually planning your wedding. Don't do what everyone else says. But I saw, it’s more up to you with a side of compromise. Just don't compromise the things that you 110% want. So start with your non-negotiables. The things that you're deadset on and you're not willing to budge on. Stick to your guns. “I want this for the music. I want this type of venue and I want this for the food. I don't give two hoots what people say, they're my non-negotiables.” Pick three and just stick to them.
And then I'd say with the other stuff, pick your battles, and compromise on the things that aren't as important to you. If you don't care too much about what cake you’re having and mum is desperate for you to have a chocolate mudcake, do whatever. Don't compromise to make yourself unhappy or make you feel like it's not your perfect day. But you've got to pick your battles. Just stay strong over things that you're deadset on, that in your heart are going to make or break your day. And don't let anyone or anything come in the way of those things.
Start off first by getting clear in your head on what you want, and then if you’re using a checklist from online, you delete things off it that don’t match your vision. Don’t look at them and think, “I haven’t got that, I’m missing that.” Stick to your vision. You've just got to get clear on what you want. And don't let others throw you off. Because friends and family will start saying asking if you’ve ordered this or that and then you’ll start questioning yourself. Don’t do that.
Just ask yourself these questions, “Do I want it? Or why do I think I should have it? Does it fit my vibe?” It's okay to say no to things.
If you’re doing something for the photos or Instagram - please don’t. Everyone there - your guests and your vendors and your photographer, they sense that it’s for show and it’s not a reflection of you as a couple. Everyone knows.
Love what you see? Check out Laura’s website and Instagram for more of her details and previous weddings. And if you’re a celebrant and want to level up your brand and business, you have to check out the Love Biz Academy, Laura’s celebrant coaching business.
Brand Images : Alchemy Brand Studio