Establishing your wedding day priorities

When first starting out with the planning of your wedding, I find it’s a great idea to pick 2-3 ‘non-negotiable’ elements of your day that mean the most to you and your partner. The things that you consider most important in achieving the look and feel you want for your dream day.

There will be things that are important to you as a couple, or individually, so you need to discuss these together to set your priorities. This task will help you so much as you continue with your planning. It is so important to sit down together right in the beginning stages of your planning and decide exactly what matters to you both. 

Costs for vendors vary depending on their package offerings, your guest numbers and time of year. By knowing what is most important to you both, you can allocate your budget accordingly and make sure you really are creating the dream day you both want.

I call setting these priorities as choosing your non-negotiables for your dream day. These elements are ones that you are more than happy to spend a little bit more money on. Just don’t forget that by increasing your budget for these items, you need to reduce spend in other areas to compensate.

Some suggestions on non-negotiables could be : ⁠

🥘 If you’re a foodie couple, you could choose an amazing food and beverage package⁠

👗 If you LOVE fashion, you could choose to spend more on your wedding dress or wedding suit - or on your wedding party’s attire ⁠

🎵 If you’re a couple who love music, and live music too, this could be you choosing an amazing band, or mix of musicians to be there throughout the day to set your vibe and keep guests entertained all night long⁠

Choosing your priorities will help with establishing your budget too. Having these priorities will help keep you on track when planning your dream day, and when the stress and overwhelm starts to creep in.

Make sure you write down your priorities somewhere to remind yourself of them during your planning. Stick them on the fridge or your mirror - somewhere you will see them everyday!

Here’s how you can set these priorities with your partner :

• Book in a date night together - grab some wine and a cheese platter and settle in

• Have a notebook or piece of paper each and, separately, without talking to one another, write down 3-5 things that YOU consider most important for your wedding day

• Once this is done, compare lists with your partner:

  • If there are matches, these are the elements you definitely want to prioritise on your day

  • If there are anomalies, it's time to have an open conversation where you discuss your case for your individual choices and then together, decide on an approach to find and choose your non-negotiables

There may be a level of compromise needed, depending on what you each consider to be important. Be open, honest and considerate of each other's opinions and views.

I don’t recommend choosing more than 3 non-negotiables. Any more than this and you start to try and split your budget way too thin and you will either blow out your total overall budget, or you'll miss out on other things for your day you may want to spend your money on.

There are going to be certain elements or traditions that you will either be reducing the spend for or leaving out of your day completely, so this will free up a little more money for these elements you have prioritised and definitely want to include. 

REMEMBER, your wedding day is about both of you as a couple and you should both have a say about what you want - especially if it's something you consider an important element of your dream day.

Image: The Day Weddings, from Nathan + Melissa, Lamont’s Bishops House